It's My Anniversary!
(That's a Tony, Toni, Tone reference if you're wondering)
Today, I’m posting a special blog post that is out of sync with my regular posting schedule. Why? Because I am celebrating 10 happy years of marriage to my best friend! So, to acknowledge this milestone (because every year, month, week, and day of marriage IS a milestone), I thought I’d list my top 10 ways that my hubby and I personally keep our marriage happy and growing stronger each day. So in no particular order, here it is!
We practice open communication-- When we were first married, this wasn’t always so easy to do. There was an overwhelming sense of not wanting to upset the other and a fear of the unknown with how they may react. But here’s the thing. I plan to spend the rest of my entire life with this person. We have to express ourselves and our emotions. Otherwise, the relationship turns toxic. And it’s ridiculous to expect someone to walk on eggshells in their own home. So, open communication it is!
We protect each other’s feelings-- While we do practice open communication, that doesn’t mean we say things to intentionally hurt the others feelings. Ever. And, if we do unintentionally, that is discussed, in calm tones, and amends are made.
We don’t fight-- Seriously. No one believes that this is true or even possible. But it is. In ten years of marriage, we have only had one major argument. And we made up within the hour. And we haven’t argued since. Why? Because we are a team. We are two parts of the same whole. And, honestly, neither of us really feel up to holding grudges. Life's waaaayyy too short! A house divided against itself cannot stand.
We observe the 51-49 rule-- Back when we were newlyweds, we ask my husband’s grandfather, who has been married for 50+ years, for advice on how to have a happy marriage. He told us that people think marriage should be 50/50, but it’s not. At some point you will disagree and find yourself at an impasse. Someone has to be the 49%. For us, the percentage shifts between myself and the hubby, depending on the situation. And the 51% always respects the 49%. After all, it’s only a 2% difference. But, this rule is how we achieve #3 above.
We go the extra mile-- I’ll admit it. I am extremely spoiled by my husband. The only time he ever says no to any request I ask of him is when it is physically (or financially) impossible. He truly treats me like a queen. And, in turn, I go the extra mile for him. I literally spend all year coming up with what to get him for Christmas, taking notes throughout the months of things he mentioned he wanted. I learned how to make some of his favorite recipes from childhood. And when (my extremely forgetful) husband, leaves (fill in the blank) at home, you better believe I will rearrange my schedule to try to get it to him at work. This is how we show each other that we’re top priorities in the other’s life.
We spend time together-- Seriously, you will rarely see us apart. We are a team and act as such. We often joke that we would be so much more productive if we didn’t have to figure out how to get everything done while somehow still being in the same vicinity as one another! Even the staff at my daughter’s school has commented that if you see Mr. Wiggins, chances are Mrs. Wiggins is somewhere nearby. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. That may be true. But as a military spouse, the government demands A LOT of my hubby’s time. So any chance to spend time with the love of my life, I’m there!
Our core values are the same-- So this is one that really has to be established prior to marriage, but continues to be the foundation throughout marriage. My husband and I are both of the Christian faith and we are raising our daughter the same. This gives our marriage stability, because we have the same overall focus in life. This doesn’t have to be about spirituality, but it so happens that it is for us. It’s important that your spouse truly holds the same values at their core.
We show affection-- Our daughter hates this about us, lol. At any given time, you may catch us in a quick kiss, a long embrace, cuddled up on the couch, holding hands while driving down the road, dancing in the kitchen… We show each other affection and let one another know that the same affection we had while dating only gets stronger each day.
We are always dating-- This is something we came up with before we were married. We would always be dating. I would always put forth my best effort in how I look when we go out. An outing with my hubby means effort in my hair, makeup and outfit, even if it's just a Target run. My husband always opens my door for me, will never let me even see the check when we go out to eat and brings me random surprise gifts for no reason at all. The effort we put into dating is the same effort we put into our marriage!
We truly believe in "for better or worse"-- Over the past ten years, we've had some pretty serious ups and downs. We've dealt with me getting sick a few months after our one year anniversary (I'm talking really sick- doctors gave me a 50-50 shot at surviving), lots of time apart thanks to the hubby's military career, and most recently, the passing away of my mother. But for us, our vows weren't just pretty words we said during the ceremony. They were the actual promises we made to each other. And we use those vows as guidelines for our marriage. It helps to keep us on the same page.
So, there you have! Ten ways that my hubby and I have been able to stay so happily married for ten years!
Would you like to work with me? Reach out via phone at 910-745-0303 or fill out the contact form on the website.
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